Review by R.S. for Clinical Neuropsychologist, Dr. Varsha Dutta Pujari.
R.S. (Patient)
Wanted to share my feedback on the 3 Ketamine sessions that I had under Dr.Varsha D. Pujari’s guidance:
- I have had a history of extreme fear and anxiety since my childhood, I recall always suffering from a lack of confidence and fear that everything would be snatched away from me.
- Under the 1st session, I encountered a dark void which in my teenage days had always threatened to suck in my entire personality and presence. I encountered that black void again in front of me, however this time, instead of being scared, I tried to come to terms with it, approach it and welcome it to take me it so desired. It however did nothing of that sort and I was able to overcome my fear of the same.
- During the 2nd session, I was able to imagine a grille gate beyond which lay a golden passageway of light. I tried to pass through the gate and a celestial geometric pattern which was faintly humanoid was seen opening the gate for me.
- During the 3rd session, I really felt like a astronaut gliding through the deep fissures and crevasses of my mind. I heard some words being spoken and a overwhelming presence assuring me that all would be well and my problems would be resolved.
- Since then, I have been trying to have peace and clam in my mind, I believe the Ketamine therapy has helped me immensely in terms of exorcising long pending demons in my deep mind and have also given me a peace and balance which allows me to try for a normal life.
I can’t express my gratitude to Varsha Ma’am for the guidance and care that she has shown for me, right from being with me through every session and supporting me on my job front as well.
I am completely indebted to her as a patient and as a human being for her positive attitude and beliefs which she has been able to imbibe in my as part of my ongoing treatment.R.S. (Patient’s Wife’s Views)
Speaking from a wife’s perspective, I have seen a sea change in my husband post Ketamine Assisted Therapy. Prior to this, his depression with accompanying issues of mistrust, paranoia and the ‘world about to get him’ was becoming unmanageable and unbearable for us as a small family of 3. Not only was he unable to stay at or keep his jobs despite having an excellent academic record, but the complete lack of support from his family’s side, including the unwillingness to accept that there was an inherent psychological problem that he was battling with was something I found very difficult to come to terms with. His mother too suffered and went without any treatment all her life, which took a toll on his childhood health. As a wife, I stayed resilient and kept coaxing him to seek help for years together till we finally reached a breaking point where I too fell sick after all these years of caring for him and managing all the family’s responsibilities and decided that we finally needed to seek medical help.
We underwent a few therapies with psychiatrists with medications, but the therapies soon started falling through as we realised that he was becoming more and more passive and withdrawing into an inner shell from which he was unable to come out of. He was so heavily sedated with medications most of the time that we could no longer have even a 2 word meaningful conversation anymore. Being diabetic with issues of hypertension aggravated his health issues, which also led to him leaking urine with major balancing issues for which we had to get a walking stick and a host of other health issues too followed. This forced us to consult a neurologist and he changed his medicines and a battery of test was done to rule out neurological problem During this time he lost his job again, and after 2 months joined a new job because of which his doctor revised his medications and withdrew some to an extent where his condition worsened further as he became more hyper irritable and aggressive. He started accusing me of distancing our child from him, and by then had completely stopped communicating with our only child. This completely broke me as I was at my wits end with my own health and emotional issues and was desperately seeking help.
At this time I searched a lot for other alternatives and came across Dr. Varsha Dutta Pujari.With lots of persuasion I took him to her.
Initially he was extremely reluctant to change doctors but finally came along but was not very co-operative initially.
After the first psychotherapy sessions, we slowly revised his medications following which ketamine assisted psychotherapy was suggested since his condition was resistant to the conservative therapies for depression. I took an extreme leap of faith on my own and convinced my husband to try it. The preparation for the KAP therapy was very extensive as he was supervised and kept on a strict emotional and a less demanding food diet for days. Our psychotherapy sessions too were intense, as we were getting prepared and appropriately instructed about what to expect from the therapy.
The KAP therapy was spaced over a few months.
After the first KAP session, as he came out of it slowly he held my hand for the first time after ages and told me that “I am the only one who is there for him.” We both felt connected after ages, and realised that it was a turning point in our relationship and our family life from hereon.
The psychotherapy sessions continued after that and the medicines were revised to the point where just a minimal dose was enough to see him through the day. He responded extremely well to the therapy.
The second KAP session was a bit scary as he came out of the experience early and started throwing up and was very restless. I still kept my focus on bringing the medicine doses down and we continued with the psychotherapy sessions.
The third KAP session was the most revelatory experience for him, as he gained a lot of insight and had a better view and idea into his own condition, and realised that he himself was responsible and he alone had to deal with his fears and his trepidations. Currently, my husband is on minimum medications. He now has a new job now and most importantly he has started behaving like a sensitive human being again compared to what he was before.
After seeing a sea change in him we are hoping that he will be able to hold his current job which he really likes and is enthused in.
Most importantly, he has started interacting with our child which had stopped completely. We are working on our own relationship now hoping that our emotional bonding will improve.
I am very thankful to Dr Varsha for her counselling and unconditional support.
I am patient about things to get better as I don’t have any more guts to go through what we have been through as a family anymore.
This treatment has given us a sense of normalcy in our life after ages with a thin ray of hope trickling in.
My husband is a different, better person post these KAP sessions is how I would like to conclude.
Good bless her for touching so many lives
